I left Bedwell Harbour at the crack of 9:45. I had been trying to get a hold of Tania to arrange to see the kids for the past couple of days to no avail. Finally I texted her that if she wouldn't return my texts or phone calls, I'd have to come to the house. Soon after I got a strange email suggesting that she'd filed a police report with RCMP including a description of my car, license plate and photo of Trouper 2. WTF?!

So, I'm heading home with some anxiety about the devolving custodial arrangment when my phone rings. It's the Saanich Police. "Do you own a red Mazda 3?" So I'm like, OMG. They're calling about Tania's police report. 

They weren't.

It turns out, the street where I had parked my car had some heavy construction under way. The cops were just hoping I could move my car so the big trucks would have an easier time negotiating the turn. I told them I was on my way and would move it this afternoon.

I carried on my voyage home, minding my own business when suddently, I became aware of a sinister presence in the form of an RCMP patrol boat just off my port quarter. Startled, I heaved to and prepared to be boarded. In all my time cruising the Gulf Islands, I had never been boarded or even approached by any kind of patrol boat. But, it would seem that today, all of that would change courtessy of my X Wife. I was about to be arrested at sea while flying the Jolly Roger.

I wasn't.

It turns out, I had clipped the American border Northwest of Stuart Island and the RCMP were checking to see what I was up to. I always thought I'd be shot at by a U.S. Homeland Security gunship if I got too close. "You're lucky it was us." said the friendly RCMP officer.

Two police encounters immediately following Tania's false claim that she had filed a police report. I know it was false because the day after I got home, I turned myself in to the West Shore RCMP Detachment. They had never heard of me.